I wannas sexs uuuuu
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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