I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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