We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
