I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
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I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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