I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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