I think I died a long time ago.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
