Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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