"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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