im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
