Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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