Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
