come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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