also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
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Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
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I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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