gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I am midnight drunk by noon
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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