i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize