I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
