stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
