Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize