Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
