Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
