How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
organizing the empties. That sober.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
