I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
