This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
