seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
