You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
