Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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