I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
