I think I am morally bankrupt
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
