just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
It's blow job season.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
