yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
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We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
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I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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