I am puke
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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