And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
