based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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