I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
