I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
