If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
