Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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