If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
being pregnant is like rehab
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
