i permit you to call me
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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