T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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