I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
