Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
