if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
