Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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