i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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