every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
