But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
