I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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