Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
