respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
tell me about the eggs
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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