Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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