Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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