that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
