Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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