It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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