I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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