On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
