Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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