The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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