I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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